So it's almost been a week since I updated the world wide web on my life. But my life is pretty boring these days and I feel no need to bore the world at large with the minute details of my days. Which isn't entirely true, but all the super interesting stuff I have to talk about I can't.
Instead of telling you about impossibly cute children who are doing me proud I’m going to discuss (at length) one of the major differences between the members of the male gender living in Edmonton and Vancouver that I've noticed.
Once again in my sad and miserable life I am single. Which is fine really. I'm so busy these days and stress is making me such an evil bitch that I seriously doubt if my single status is going to change at all in the coming months. And I am honestly okay with that. A love interest would be lovely but impractical at the moment, and I’m totally comfortable with my footloose and fancy free status.
It’s just I’ve noticed that men in Edmonton tend to be much more forward. There was a time last summer where I couldn’t leave the house without some attempt to be chatted up. It was weird I wasn’t used to it and I met a whole bunch of total and complete freaks but it happened so often that it almost became part of my daily routine. You know: Get up, eat breakfast, walk to work, get honked at, have some guy come into the store and hit on me, go get a coffee, get a discount by flirting with the barista, go back to work, walk home, get cat called.
This doesn’t happen in Vancouver. I’m happy about the lack of cat calls honestly. I mostly just feel embarrassed and angry (especially the total assholes that tell you to smile….which happened to me in Vancouver not two days ago, so it’s not like it’s non-existant here, just less common) when they happen. In Edmonton I used to not be able to walk to and from my house to work without either being told I was “hot” or “fat” or some sort of blaring of the horn. I feel a lot less like a piece of meat here in Vancouver. I also love that when I go clubbing my ass gets to spend the majority, if not the entirety, of the night un-groped.
But I miss flirting. I miss getting pretty face discounts. And I know this entire post makes me a bad feminist. Because I’m looking for validation from men who don’t know anything about me other than the way I look. But it helps me with my body issues. It helps me accept my body and love it. I spent a long time in a body that I couldn’t imagine others finding attractive. A body I couldn’t find attractive. When I am flirted with or get a free coffee or even just smiled at by a lovely looking stranger it’s a little boost in the self confidence. And it’s a great motivator to not buy the mini eggs, or to remember to ask for a non-fat chai latte.
It’s nice to be appreciated regardless of the source. I feel just as validated when I’m commended on my brains (what little I have) as I am about my face.
(Slight disclaimer: throughout the entire composing of this post…which truth be told has been an hour and a half and counting… I’m felt the need to let everyone know I don’t think I’m very pretty. Which isn’t true. I’m starting to think of myself as attractive, it’s just weird how I don’t want people to think I’m vain or conceited or so concerned with my looks. Why does it feel like such a crime for me to state that I think I’m good looking? Why do I feel ashamed about it? And why is it the only time I think it’s okay to think of my self as attractive is when some sort of outside source (usually male and a stranger) confirms it? I guess those are really the questions I should be exploring in this post. But it’s almost 11 and I’m tired so it’s not going to happen. I usually better at thinking such things through with other peoples input to my ramblings, so please friends use the comments so I can clear my thoughts.)
