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merely talk

rantings and ravings with little cohesion and plenty of pretension

 

Damn my genes!

I hate dieting.

I hate it. And I hate that I'm not, nor have I ever been, one of these people who can eat how they want to, when they want to. I started putting on weight when I was 5. At that point I hadn't started to eat more than either my siblings, nor was I inactive (I was a competitive swimmer until I was 12, rode my bike everywhere, and ran around like all other kids). But it didn't matter. I hate that I didn't get the grace period that other people got in their youths to eat sweets, and fatty things, and for it not to matter. It has always mattered for me. Always. And it always will. I will always have to watch what I eat. I can't eat things other people take for granted. I've had to cut out all butter. If I actually eat toast, it will be dry. Cheese is a treat. Forget about drinking any alcohol. None of these are realistic for me to eat and maintain a "healthy" body weight. Which sucks. I mean the weight I want to be at is at the top side of the BMI "normal" range. So any deviance from it and I become overweight. I'm not one of those people who can stop paying attention and lose weight. That isn't my lot.

I sort of knew I was putting on weight. Wii fit made sure to confirm it and I know how it happened. I was happy and in love and I stopped paying attention, and now I have job interviews lined up, and my business clothes from last winter do not fit. I have a friends wedding in three weeks, and I may have to let out my bridesmaids dress. My jeans have been getting tighter. I started favouring wearing dresses with empire waists, since they are ever so forgiving.

I mean it also helps that since I've been at my parents house I've been eating lovely full home cooked meals every night, and I've been baking cookies, and since I'm not biking or walking to work at the moment, the only exercise I get is taking Finn for walks 6-10 times a day. Which may sound like a lot, but really isn't.

So annoying.

So today was day one of my return to following the weight watchers diet. And it went well. I'm not hungry, per say, just not feeling the fullness I'm used to, since the only grains I had today , was at breakfast (sorry Canada's food guide, if I follow you I get fat). A girl can live off of vegetables and protein, with a little bit of nonfat dairy, right?

Sigh.

I think I'll be a little temperamental for the next little while. Best stay out of my way.

 

for this post

 
Blogger J-Bird Says:

Hey! You're back too! Heh, I came back a while ago (though intermittently) but also told no one. Hope you're well, I'll be calling you soon, so brace yo'self.

 

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