merely talk

Before I get in to another narcissistic ramble, I thought I'd do a little charity information session. Like pretty much everyone in the world I've been absolutely horrified about what's going on in South East Asia right now. And instead of saying how awful it is and then going on my way, I thought I'd donate some money to one of the many charities collecting to help those in desperate need of help.

Here is a listing of Canadian charities that are accepting donations. It's alright if you don't have much. The Red Cross only requires a minimum of $5. If I can donate so can you.

Start of the New Year in a good way. Improve your karma!

Now on to the selfishness!
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2004 was an interesting year for me. I would never have predicted this time last year that I'd be where I am now.

Instead of giving a blow by blow account of everything I did this year, which I think would be pretty boring (especially for me) I thought I'd just go over things that I learned this year.

1) Concerning working:

Working full time all the time is hard. I don't think I'm meant to do it. If only because I don't handle the increased stress well. And that makes me an unpleasant person who is constantly lashing out and blaming others.

At the same time I love working full time at my job. I don't know what I'd do with myself if I wasn't working, and I'd hate to see any of my kids less than I do now. When I'm at work I'm pleasant and goofy and happy. It's only after I leave that everything comes crashing down on me.

2) Concerning my accommodation:

I'm much better at living by myself than I ever thought I'd be. I was worried before I moved here that without roommates I'd be lonely. And I was a little. But between my friends and family I'm barely ever alone in this place. So much so that the few nights a week I do have on my own I appreciate. They give me the time I need to relax and unwind and do the things I really enjoy without having to worry about other people. For example if I want to watch a cheesy television show or listen to music of a questionable (taste wise) nature I can do it. No one telling me how stupid what I'm watching is. Or how awful what I'm listening to is. It's awesome.

3) Concerning Relationships:

Both platonic and romantic. I always knew everything was complicated and hard. And that in the end communication in anything is really the most important thing. Above trust, respect and love even. Without communicating properly you can't have any of those things. I've had a few rough patches with relationships this year which really proved it to me. Friendships have gone a bit awry and a romance go kaput. All because of misunderstandings and miscommunications. But like everything they were learning experiences and though hard, I think they've made me a better person.


In high school I hated my job. I was working as a cashier at Safeway and I felt that my soul was slowly being sucked away. Every time I walked to work I had a little mantra I would say to myself. To help me get through it. "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." As my life has gone on past Safeway and on to even more difficult jobs and harder school, and bills and a greater independence, that has become my life mantra. So as I bid adieu to 2004 and am somewhat afraid (but excited as well) about what 2005 will bring, I have to remind myself that I can handle this life and it's adventures.

So bring it on.


Happy New Year everyone!

I see a lot of movies. It’s just something I do. As I’ve gotten older and theater prices have sky rocketed my movie going addiction has been somewhat curtailed. But not by much.

So I thought I’d give a little run down on my five favourite movies of 2004, but keep in mind I have yet to see Phantom of the Opera or The Aviator or Ray yet. So this whole darn list is subject to change on a whim.

These are in no particular order by the by.

1) Garden State: beautifully shot, beautifully written. It really captures that feeling of coming home and realizing your parents house is no longer your home, and how lost and surreal the whole experience is.

2) The Notebook. Cheesy, Maybe. But Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling acted the shit out of this movie, thus giving it so much more intensity and drama than the book. It’s a very rare thing indeed when the movie is better than the book, and by God they did it in this one. I cared about these people. I left wanting to love and be loved like these two. The book left me cold, and wondering why’d I’d wasted my time with it.

Also Ryan Gosling brings the sexy.

3) Speaking of Sexy, lets talk about Jude Law, shall we. Mr. Law appeared in something like 6 movies this year. I saw four of them Alfie, Closer, Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, and I Heart Huckabees. I adored I Heart Huckabees. I thought it funny and insightful and just perfectly wacky and wonderful. And while Jude did a great job playing a charismatic, smug bastard, it was Marky Mark who stole the show. It’s like he decided to stop “acting” and just have fun. And he was SO much fun. Whether he’s ranting about his petroleum or riding his bike to fires, he was so likable and crazy and I left with a little bit of a crush.

4) I saw The Life Aquatic at a sneak preview Anna’s boss had given her tickets for. The theater people made us stand in line for bloody ever, and I was pretty unhappy when they finally let us in the theater (after searching our purses of course). But I forgot about all the inconvenience as soon as the movie started. It’s official. I am Wes Anderson’s bitch. I love how there is he provides so much detail in every shot that each film needs multiple viewings to catch it all. The writing is spot on, in that offbeat way I love. The plot completely insane (a highlight is the saving of the Bond Company Stooge from the Pirates). The cast greatly talented, and the music awesome. C’mon anyone who has the majority of the film filled with Bowie covers in Portuguese has got to be cool.

5) And finally I’m putting Saved! on this list. I just loved everything about this movie. I bought it as a whim at Future Shop one day. I’d been wanting to see it for awhile but it just hadn’t quite made it to a theater in Edmonton. And I loved it. I think I watched about 5 times in two days after I got it. Something about all these born again Christians just hit a note I guess. And it’s super funny.

So yeah. If you haven’t seen these. Do. If you have and you disagree with me about there awesomeness, you have no taste.

My latest knitting project. Knitting with beads. Always an adventure.

I'm updating!

Last night Amanda came over and we proceeded to stuff ourselves with lovely Asian cuisine. We ordered from this awesome place called the Golden Chop and Wok. It was damn good. Especially the wonderful deep fried tofu (crunchy on the outside, soft in the middle) and the Sweet and Sour soup. Geoff came by after he finished work and the three of us chatted until about 12:30 when I promptly threw them out and went to bed.

I really haven't been up to much lately. Just working, and Christmas shopping. Today is my last free day before I head off to Pender, so I need to finish today. All I have left is my Mom (who is proving somewhat difficult) and my kids (who are going to be fun to shop for..I love buying toys!). Then I am done.

I've found myself to be in this really vicious mood lately. I'm hoping it's just stress and time off will cure it. But I've been trying to sort of avoid people, just to protect them I suppose. I had a bit of a blow up with my parents on Friday, and it really had nothing to do with them, so I feel bad. I'm trying to not do that to any of my friends. You know, cause my family is stuck with me no matter how unpleasant I am, my friends, not so much.

Anyway tonight, Christmas party! Should be fun. Tomorrow through to Wednesday is work, and Thursday morning I head out to Pender. I should be back in Vancouver on Sunday. And three days after that I have a whole week off from work! What am I going to do with myself?

On Thursday night, I stayed up way too late for a school night and attended a Hawksley Workman concert. There really are no words to describe how amazing this guy is. So I'm not going to try. Just if you ever have a chance to check him out live. Do so. You won't regret it. Even if you haven't heard of him, he is such a showman and performer that it won't matter.

I went to go see Closer on Friday night. I'm still wrapping my mind around this movie. It was interesting seeing how these four people manipulate and play one another for personal gain. How ugly they can be, all while professing love. I really enjoyed it though. It was intelligent and honest. And Clive Owen, even though playing a completely misogynist, cruelly controlling, asshole, did it was so much gusto and intensity that I'm an even bigger fan then I was. I hated him in the movie, but I think that was the point. I hated them all. Which is refreshing.

I'm off clubbing tonight with Geoff and Joan. Should be a drunken good time.

Ever wanted to create a evil plot. This site can help. Enjoy...well as long as you can until I seize the Pacific Ocean with my Needlessly Large Weather Machine which I control from my Underground Secret Headquarters of Doom! Mwa ha ha ha!

(hey Amanda, you were right, I am evil! Especially when I'm my evil twin Evil!Tessa.)

I'm tired and am going to be heading to bed soon, but I thought I should update. I have a long day tomorrow and I doubt I'll get to it, so now it is.

I've seen two movies in two days now. The first Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason and the second Kinsey. I suppose it goes without saying, but don't see Bridget Jones. They just take all the jokes from the first one and cheapen them, and then have Renee Z. waddle around like a duck and act like she lost 50 IQ points between films. In the first movie one can relate to Bridget. She is a bit socially awkward, but never stupid or particularly silly. In this movie she does the stupidest things for absolutely no reason. I started to wonder why she has these two men fighting over her, repeatedly. So yeah. BAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDD!

Kinsey equals awesome though. I just got home from seeing it a few minutes ago, and I'm still digesting what I saw. But it really is amazing. Slight warning that there is a ton of nudity on it, and pretty explicit sex scenes. And they don't really shy away from much. But it's really good. I recommend it, to anyone, not just Psychology nerds like me.