And it's not even Mother's day.
So work got worse today. But then within a few hours it got better. I think it's the unpredictability of this workplace that really makes my head spin. It's really hard to keep track.
I've had a lazy day today. After work this morning, I came home and read. And then took a nap, and then got into my PJ's, and I've been doing nothing. Which I adore.
My Mom called and I realized it's been a few days since I talked to her, so we chatted for quite a sometime. What I love about my mom, is that no matter how hard things are, or however many people seem to be against me, she's ALWAYS on my side. There is comfort in that. Mom's are great.
I was reading in "Reviving Ophelia" that the person most women call out for when they are dying, be they 20 or 90 is their mother. This makes total sense to me. My mother has always been the strongest women I've known, and she's always there when I need someone to lean on. It's a complicated relationship, the mother-daughter bond. During adolescents we're so demanding of them. My mother would always embarrass me, completely unintentionally. I remember never letting her stand up for me when I was being mistreated by peers or teachers. I would have died if she had called one of my torturers mothers, or bitched out my gym teachers for marking me on my lack of ability, instead of my effort. And the funny thing is, looking back, her ideas would have made everything better. And she just wanted to protect me, but back then I didn't appreciate her. I totally do now though. Which hopefully makes up for my moody pre-teen/teen years.
But yeah, my Mom rocks.
Moms aren't always great.
-Anick
My mom embarrassed me too. When I was around 13 my mom and I were really close, and I basically spent my weekends with her, and Amanda, and sometimes the two together. My mom and I would go to the mall; she would try to get bits of food out of my teeth, she would always want to share dressing rooms and would point with her finger and say "That boy over there was looking at you a second ago." I always shrugged it off though, and I have Amanda to thank for my ability to do that, I could always count on my mom not to care how I looked (unless I was downright grimy) but Amanda was my age and she didn't care either.
My mom also tried to protect me; similar in the ways that your mother did Tessa, I think I will probably do the same for my daughter (or son), because when you love someone that much, who wouldn't?
The most stressful time in my life so far was in grade 12 when she was not on my side all of a sudden; when she accused me of "doing things" for Iain, in exchange for him buying me expensive clothes. I was so hurt, and although it has taken me a long time to get over, I was able to let it past me, even though she never appologized because I knew she was just afraid of losing me. How could I stay angry with her? Even though she said something that hurt me so much, I didn't want to waste my precious time with her angry. I read in one of those 'Dear so and so' columns once, about a man who was giving advice to a friend who was getting married; he said something along the lines of: "You will fight, but learn to forgive, so you won't spend your time angry with one another, because on her death bed you will want all that time that you wasted being angry back, just to celebrate more time together." Isn't it the same with our mothers? So I couldn't stay mad, besides, we have way too much to laugh about.