merely talk

Today I found a camera in my cereal. A free camera, with Tony the Tiger on it.

I remember back when I was a young lass begging my parents for a camera. My first camera was a Polaroid, given to me for Christmas when I was ten. It was pink and grey and beautiful. My parents had created a theme with my present that year, also giving me a photo album with 'Trolls' on the cover and film (my mom always tries to make themes with presents). That camera provided me with hours of entertainment, for many years. I still have all the pictures I took with it. My favourites are still the ones I took that first Christmas morning. My brother was so small!

Then a few years later, for my birthday, I was given one of those Adventex cameras that could take pictures in three different sizes. I think I had harassed my parents for a good 3 months for that one. It's the camera I took to Scotland and England. It went to Gambier Island in grade 12. It properly recorded most of my high school and junior high careers. I think I filled a good 3 or 4 photo albums with that one.

Of course 3 years ago(almost 4) my parents gave me a digital camera for my birthday. And I love it to bits. I barely look at my Adventex camera anymore, and I have no idea where my Polaroid ended up, I haven't seen it for years. I have hundreds of photos stored on my computer now, some I have had printed off, but most are on this machine I'm typing on now. I love that I can delete the one's that didn't work out, and see the shot immediately. It's all about the instant gratification really. I'm more bold with the digital camera too. I don't need to worry about wasting film at all, or light quality or anything. The freedom it provides is fantastic.

So maybe it is appropriate that they are now giving camera's away in cereal boxes. It's not like it actually came with film or anything. It really is just a camera. Yet, it simply strikes me as weird, that something I've always associated with being expensive and a privilege, is now on the same level as plastic rings and 3D glasses.

I'm trying to be a good student this year. Especially since I discovered a graduate program at an awesome university that is pretty much exactly what I want to do. So far I've stayed up to date on all my readings, and have even read the supplementary stuff I'm not required to read. And today I thought I'd actually get started on my first assignment that's due in 9 days.

BUT I CAN'T!!!

The WebCT is not working. There is some sort of error and my knowledge of computers is minimal so I'm not sure exactly what error it is. All I know is I can't get to the page I need to get to. The one with the template for the assignment. Bastards!

Also the U of A homepage won't load. Blah.

In other news I had a pretty good weekend. On Saturday Amy met me after work and we went to one of my favourite greasy spoons here in Edmonton: Keegans. What makes Keegans extra special is their hours of operation. They are open 24 hours a day, so even though I don't get off work until midnight, they lovely staff is still there to serve me milkshakes and surprisingly good French Toast. Yummy.

Work on Friday and Saturday was pretty crazy. Whyte Ave on the late shift is insane. Especially on the weekends. The street is full of drunk, loud college students. They do provide a lot of entertainment. But if I have to point one more group of drunken men to the Playboy section in the store I may scream.

One stinky drunk guy came in on Saturday night and asked me if we carried porn DVD's or tapes. We don't and I told him so, but I did point him in the direction of the magazines. He looked at the racks location in the store and decided they were much to far away for him. Then he tried to hit on me. It was gross.

Also on Saturday one of our older customers (I'd put this guy at maybe 60) gave me his number and told me he'd take me out for coffee sometime. This was after he asked me if I was married. It wasn't too creepy, but I still don't think I'm going to call him.

But I guess both of those little events are just hazards of the job. And in the end even though I seems I will perpetually have the late shifts on the weekend I'm still really enjoying myself there. The staff is absolutely amazing and have been so welcoming and the clientele is generally great and friendly. Excluding the kids of last year, I think this may be one of the best jobs I've ever had.

Interesting.

You scored as Postmodernist. Postmodernism is the belief in complete open interpretation. You see the universe as a collection of information with varying ways of putting it together. There is no absolute truth for you; even the most hardened facts are open to interpretation. Meaning relies on context and even the language you use to describe things should be subject to analysis.


What is Your World View? (updated)
created with QuizFarm.com

I'm feeling better today. I really can't focus on myself for such long periods of time, I get bored. I think what really helped me break my mood though, was one Ms. Spears.

I would like to thank the early reports that had Brit naming her precious son Preston Micheal Spears Federline, or as some have pointed out PMS Federline.

Another report I read had her naming him Sean Preston. Which isn't nearly as much fun, but probably much better for the child who is going to have a difficult life already.

Anyway the first reports of PMS greatly lifted my mood by making me realize that some people will always have it worse than me. I may fall down occasionally, but at least Britney Spears isn't my mom.

He was a very nice man. Ends up I have no brain tumor.

That was the good news.

The bad news is he didn't really know what happened in my brain. My tests all came back normal, but of course if it was anything but normal that would mean it was a brain tumor. He's sending me for a sleep deprivation EEG in a few months. Doesn't that sound like a good time? Basically if we make me sleepy it irritates my brain, which will show the irregularity better. Or something.

But as of right now I have lots of rules to follow. Like not drinking, or driving, or going to the gym or doing anything which will lead to me hurting myself or someone else if I have another seizure. I also have to take really good care of myself. Making sure I get full nights of sleep (other than for the EEG) and that I eat properly and don't overwork myself. Somehow this isn't how I pictured my last year of university.

I'm also currently freaking out. I'm sure it will pass, but I figure it's better to freak out now, and get it out of my system, than to repress it for countless months. Just know that I'm scared right now. I'm really, really scared. But I have great faith that I'll be better tomorrow. And I have faith that whatever is about to be thrown at me I'll be able to handle it.

I was just minding my business, waiting in line for the bank machine in HUB, when these two morons decided to loudly conflict their conversation on me.

And what were they talking about?

A girl who had had a seizure in one of the girl's behind me classes, and how funny it was when she "was like, convulsing".

My God aren't disorders of the brain hilarious!

If I had been a different person I would have given them a piece of my mind, but since I tend to be more passive aggressive than anything, I just took a little longer with my transactions than was totally necessary. That'll teach them!

In other news I looked up seizures on Web MD. I read there that 10% of adults have a seizure once in their lives, and it never happens again, and really happens for no reason that they know. So here's hoping that happened to me. The worst case scenario is a brain tumor. And there are various things in between those two extremes.

Everyone cross their fingers!

I already updated once today, but I thought I'd just drop a line to let everyone know how awesome the neurologist I have to see's secretary is. She's gotten me an appointment with the good doctor on Wednesday morning. So I only have to wait until then to figure out what went wrong on Saturday.

Are you excited? Cause I am!

I'm still alive and standing today, which normally wouldn't seem like a big deal, but in light of recent events feels like a major accomplishment. I slept on and off all day Sunday, which was beautiful. In my waking moments I did my readings for the week, or chatted on the phone, or visited with people. It was a fun way to spend the day. Much more fun than my original plan of going to work. Blah.

Alas I return to the job today. Since by all accounts there really isn't anything too wrong with me, and I still need to eat and keep a roof over my head, it makes sense that I should work. It'll be good though. I'll get to grill my co-worker about what happened to me, which will hopefully take some of the mystery out of it.

I called the doctor as instructed today, and since they aren't allowed to read my test results over the phone I have to wait until I can get an appointment, the secretary seemed to think that would be sometime in November. So I sure hope there is nothing too wrong with my brain, or at least whatever it is can hold until November sometime.

But onto better topics. I went out with Andrea and Francis and two of Andrea's cousins last night as a final stag weekend sort of thing. We headed to the Sicilian Pasta Kitchen. That is one yummy restaurant, and I had a lot of fun. One of the bonuses is that I got both picked up and dropped off at my door. Which made me a happy camper. I had made the three block trek out to Safeway earlier in the day, and I figured that was it for exercise for me for the day. Today I'm going to try to walk to school. It is slightly farther, and usually takes me a little under an hour. But I think some fresh air will do me good, and my legs are longing to be used. At least I think that's what all the aches are. I've been walking quite a distance everyday, with Sunday being the first time I haven't, and man do my legs ache. It hurts to move them, and their so tight.

But yeah. I'm okay. I'm looking forward to my class today, I only wish that all the sticky stuff the tape the hospital used left on my body would come off. I've already had a shower and have been rubbing at them. But it just won't come off. Also the IV left a really nasty bruise on my hand. And it hurts.

I promise this will be the last health update I ever do, because apparently it turns me in to a boring whiner. Sigh.

So.

I had a bit of an adventure yesterday. My original plan was to work until l 7 and then meet up with Andrea's bachorlette party, which would have been a lot of fun, but my body had a very different idea.

Supposedly when I was at work (it's only supposedly because I don't remember this at all) I had a seizure. All I remember is helping someone at the counter and then being loaded into an ambulance. The ambulance drivers poked and prodded me on our trip to the hospital. And they let me call Amy and Andrea to let them know what was going on.

I hung out in the waiting room for awhile. Tried to call my mom, and then hung out with Amy and Steve. I had a lovely wheel chair and some blankets so I was as happy as I could be I think. Eventually I got a room and Amy came with me, and I got poked and prodded some more. They took me for a chest x-ray and a CT scan and then I fell asleep. Eventually I was woken up and given a doctors number to call on Monday. Then they sent us home. Jenn came and picked us up and brought that adorable puppy with her, and I went straight to bed.

All in all a very weird experience. My memory is pretty spotty for the day, so I guess it was a seizure and not fainting. But who knows really. I actually would have thought it was all a dream if I hadn't woken up with my wrist tag still on.

So

What have I been up to these last few weeks?

Well I went to the big T-dot and discovered that not only do I have a large extended family, but I have a large, dynamic extended family filled with pretty, cool and awesome people.

The especially awesome ones were all my little cousins (little = over a decade my junior) most of whom I'd never met. I spent most of the wedding with my Uncle Joe's two eldest kids, being a very bad influence, telling them what to do with hangovers, and what to drink, and to stay in school as long as possible. It was fun.

A few days after the wedding I headed back to Van city after an awful stay at a Holiday Inn (now including screaming 12 year old boys running up and down the hallways free of charge!).
I finished packing up all my stuff and loaded it into my mom's car and then she and I set off for big sky country (sometimes also called Alberta). The trip was thankfully uneventful and we made it to Edmonton tired, but completely unscathed.

My mom stayed for a day and spent lots of money on me at IKEA ( I got the greatest rug ever!) and then she left for Calgary to meet my Dad for the long drive home.

Since then I've started working too many hours at a used book store, tried my hardest to make my room both comfy and pretty, and re-adjusted to life in E-town. The last one is coming a bit slower than I'd like, but I guess the important thing is I am starting to settle in.

And now the next challenge is school. I somehow managed to idealize school and classes while I was having my soul sucked out of me by my last job, and have now been reminded that no matter how noble the institution of higher learning is, it still manages to make even the most interesting topics boring.

So now I've discovered that neither working full time or attending school for the rest of my life are great plans for me. I suppose I'm going to have to fall back on my third plan: marrying a rich old guy, having him die soon after and inheriting his estate.

Please wich me luck with my future endeavor.

Actual update to follow soon.

I promise.

But now I have to go to class. And then I have to go to work. And then I get to wait until 1 am for a bus. Then I'm going to go to sleep.

And perhaps after I wake up the next morning, I'll write something here.

Maybe.

Or maybe I'll sleep in, then go to class. Then go to a movie.

We'll see.